There’s one question that no one wants to hear at the end of a good time in bed: “Was that it?”
When it comes to sex, timing is everything. Some people want it quick and to the point. Others prefer a slow build. But across the U.S., how long are people actually lasting, and how long do they want it to last?
To find out, we surveyed more than 3,400 Americans to find out which states go the distance in bed, and which might be finishing a little too early. We also asked how long people think sex should last, what their personal limits are, and how much pressure they feel to match expectations.
Spoiler alert: There’s a big difference between what’s happening and what people wish was happening.
Let’s break down the data state by state, minute by minute.
Key Insights
- The average American said they typically last about 27.4 minutes.
- The average American wants sex to last for a minimum of 23 minutes and a maximum of 53 minutes.
- On average, Missouri residents last the longest time (38.4 minutes), and North Dakota residents last the shortest time (17.5 minutes).
- 1 in 4 Americans (26%) feel pressured to last longer.
- 46% of Americans have Googled ways to last longer.
- 83% of women have experienced not reaching orgasm due to their partner finishing too early. Only 44% of men said the same.
State-by-State Stamina: Where Sex Lasts the Longest (and Shortest)
We asked Americans how many minutes, on average, they and their partners last during sex. From there, we dug into how long people want it to last, plus the personal minimums and max limits they’re working with.
Nationally, Americans report lasting around 27 minutes—about the length of a sitcom episode (minus the commercials). But which states are going for extra credit, and which prefer quickies?
The States That Last the Longest
If you’re looking for longevity, Missouri is your best bet. Residents there report an average of 38.4 minutes in bed, earning the top spot by a solid two-minute margin.
Here are the top 10 states that go the distance:
- Missouri – 38.4 minutes
- Oklahoma – 36.2 minutes
- Florida – 35.5 minutes
- Illinois – 33.4 minutes
- West Virginia – 33.3 minutes
- North Carolina – 32.9 minutes
- Mississippi – 31.3 minutes
- Indiana – 31.1 minutes
- Virginia – 31.0 minutes
- Texas – 30.7 minutes
From the Midwest to the South, it seems stamina isn’t in short supply.
The States That Finish the Fastest
On the flip side, some states are wrapping things up before you even hit the halfway mark in Missouri. North Dakota brings up the rear with an average of just 17.5 minutes.
Here are the 5 quickest states:
- North Dakota – 17.5 minutes
- Minnesota – 18.9 minutes
- Nevada – 19.4 minutes
- Nebraska – 19.8 minutes
- New Mexico – 22.4 minutes
Whether it’s efficiency or enthusiasm, these states are getting straight to the point.
National Trends
On average, Americans are clocking in at 27 minutes per session, which lines up pretty closely with what most people say they want: at least 23 minutes, but no more than 53. That sweet spot may vary, but the appetite for a longer experience is clear.
Interestingly, gay and lesbian respondents reported the longest durations across the board. On average, they last about 38 minutes, and their ideal range stretches even further, from a minimum of 29 minutes to a maximum of 1 hour and 12 minutes.
And if once isn’t enough? You’re not alone. Nearly 6 in 10 Americans (58%) say they regularly have sex multiple times in a single night, and 69% (yes, nice) say they want to. Clearly, some folks are just getting warmed up.
Perfect Timing: What Americans Really Want
Finding the right rhythm in bed isn’t always easy, and many Americans often feel out of sync.
About 60% of Americans say their partner commonly finishes early, and women are more likely to report this (69%) than men (51%). That timing gap may help explain another common behavior—faking it. Nearly half of Americans (47%) have faked an orgasm to wrap things up sooner, while 36% have gone the opposite route, pretending not to orgasm in hopes of stretching the moment out.
The split by gender tells even more of the story. About 65% of women say they’ve faked it to end sex early, compared to just 29% of men. And when things end too soon? 64% of Americans say they’ve missed out on an orgasm because their partner finished early—something that 83% of women and 44% of men say they’ve experienced.
Despite all this, most people are pretty understanding. 79% of Americans say that not lasting long enough isn’t a dealbreaker. But that doesn’t mean the pressure’s off. One in four Americans (26%) still feel pressured to last longer in bed, and nearly half (46%) have turned to Google for tips.
Whether it’s performance anxiety or a desire to improve, many seem to be looking for ways to make their minutes matter more, even if most people say it’s no big deal.
Closing Thoughts
Whether you’re leading the nation in stamina or just trying to sync up with your partner’s pace, one thing’s clear: Americans have a lot of feelings about how long sex should last. From expectations and pressure to faking it and Googling tips, this study reveals just how personal (and sometimes complicated) timing can be.
At NapLab, we understand that no matter how long the action lasts, great sleep is non-negotiable. If you’re looking to improve your game and your rest, check out NapLab’s best mattresses for sex guide and take our personalized mattress quiz. The right mattress can ensure you find the perfect comfort for your needs, whether you’re winding down or turning up the heat.
Methodology
To determine which states last the longest in bed, we surveyed over 3,400 Americans over 3 weeks in May 2025. Respondents shared how long sex typically lasts for them and their partners, allowing us to calculate an average that minimizes gender bias. We also gathered national insights on expectations, experiences, and pressures surrounding timing in the bedroom.
States not included due to insufficient survey respondents: Alaska and Wyoming.
